Cant We Talk About Something More Pleasant? #7

                         Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?
       
       "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" This book was written by Roz Chast; a woman married to a man who writes humor, and has two kids. Roz was born and raised in Brooklyn as a single child with parents much older than usual. She left for college at sixteen becoming a successful American cartoonist for the New York Times today.

         Following a few discussions in class I have been stuck thinking about whether Roz was the victim, or that her parents, Elizabeth and George, were victims of her's. A lot of questions came up wondering why, and how Roz could leave her parents at seventy-eight years old without looking back for about eleven years. Were the parents neglected as some thought? Or was Roz neglected during her childhood and causing her later actions? Everyone in the class had different views on the family dynamic; as well we should because Roz left a lot unsaid for us to try to analyze.

       "The two of them had their own thing going, and my being there complicated it in a way that did not bring out the best of any of us. I left for college when I was 16. I think we were all relieved. I could get out of the house, and they could go back to being just the two of them." (36).

        We learn in the story that Roz felt unwanted, that maybe she was a burden to her parents and interfering with their relationship. Roz had a strange childhood from what we see in the book. She was teased for having older parents, her school lunch's had to be spent at home, the sitter's were out of hand and inappropriate, etc. At home with her parent's, Roz had a vocally aggressive, overbearing mother. On the other hand her father, George, was overwhelmed with anxiety and dependence. I cant say that any of the characteristics or past experiences that Roz shared made her the victim of bad parents. From the information and text given, I think she struggled growing up. Elizabeth gave Roz no room for opinions and views as whatever Elizabeth says, goes, and whatever Elizabeth "thinks" is right, is right. George simply agrees with Elizabeth regardless and without questioning. If this is the hardship in Roz's relationship with her parent's, I think she had it just fine growing up. We all have problems in our family relationships, and I have to say Roz did not have it all that hard.

      "Where in the five stages of death, is eating a tuna sandwich? Maybe if my mother and I had been close, I would have been thrilled to see her out of bed, chomping away. But we weren't." (176).

      Needless to say, the above words of Roz Chast are shitty. Can I say that? I don't know how else to tell you what I think. She always had both George and Elizabeth, so how could she be so heartless to be disappointed when her mother's health improves? Regardless of how close they weren't, Elizabeth and George we always a part of Roz's life. Nothing in this story suggests that Roz was abused in anyway, so how could she be so low to prefer that her mother just die already? Adding that Roz was more frustrated than understanding with George's symptom's of dementia. I'd have to say, there was a continues whining throughout the story about how she had to "deal" with her parents. I don't think Roz "neglected" her parents, but that she did show some cruel carelessness.

    In the end, I don't think neglect had anything to do with why their relationship was this way before their deaths. We see throughout the book that Roz inherits traits from both Elizabeth and George. I think that she treated her father with his shared traits, caring and overcome with anxiety. As well as for Elisabeth, she was impatient and easily frustrated. This realization makes me understand Roz and her story much more.
   
     
   
       

Persopolis #6

                                             Persepolis
 
        Persepolis, a memoir by Marjane Satrapi, is a graphic novel that tells the story of a young girl living in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. I would like to talk further about the separation between classes in Marjane's experience. This story had an amazing impact through image, and voice; I found it intriguing. Through her art, and writing, everything about this book made me want to know more.

        "I finally understood why I felt ashamed to sit in my father's Cadillac. The reason for my shame and for the revolution is the same: the difference between social classes." (P.33).

       At such a young age, the thought of social class differences should not be real. Unfortunately Marjane lived where, and when a revolution begun, a witness to a sad reality. I couldn't relate to the seriousness of her situation in Iran, but I have experiences of my own in the subject. We see other's less or more fortunate, always trying to judge them by appearance, money, and materials. It's difficult for me to understand how people can have such closed minded opinions. No matter much we want our personal belief's to be true, there will always be another way of thinking. Marjane takes on a guilt far too real for such a young girl. There will never be a day when we all agree on what's right and wrong. We will never agree on one way of living.

    "But is it her fault that she was born where she was born??? Dad, are you for or against social classes?" (P.37).

       Adding to the thought of social class separation, Marjane was confused and upset about her father ending a relationship between the maid, and neighbor. In class we discussed the question of her father being in the right or wrong?  I came to think her father made the right choice to intervene, and end the relationship between the two. With all of the trouble and violence already involved in their lives, the father prevented what could have been a large problem. Already people were being arrested, tortured, and murdered for abandoning the rules, I understand that Marjane's father wanted to keep them safe.

       We see in her story the difference in appearance between the men and woman in Iran. I find it unreal to force a belief upon others. It's not realistic to think we can control other's thoughts and opinions. Even if forced to wear the veil, there will be people who disagree with the rule. Putting fear in people to get followers is cruel, and the violence is inhuman. We struggle is all cultures, and countries to accept differences, and it makes it impossible to share peace.

    This story was very different from the others in a way that makes it less personal, and more of an awareness about the place and time for Satrapi. I have a lot of new found knowledge about Iran and the Revolution. We didn't just capture the experience and stories of a young girl, but of a country and it's people too.
     

Redefining Realness #5

                                    Redefining Realness

       I will be analyzing a memoir by Janet Mock, a transgender woman who's family and community, supported and accepted her journey to womanhood. This memoir is so informational in the medical, history, governmental laws, and current issues in the transgender community. What interests me most about her story, is the idea that there are more than two genders, and the thought of completely eliminating gender roles and stereotypes.

      "There was no doubt when I was in the moment of Keisha. She was fully me, the me I knew myself to be in those quiet instances when all I had to do was merely be me. But I was certain the falsity of Keisha, no matter how real she felt to me, would result in a whipping or something worse. The boundaries of gender, I was taught, were unmovable, like the glistening white rocks that surrounded Grandma's crawfish pond. Keisha proved, though, that self-determination-proclaiming who you were to others-wielded the power to lift those rocks toward a more honest place."

      In this class we have discussed the struggle to be accepted as a woman, but the struggle to be accepted as a person who wants to become a woman, is new to me. In the passage above Janet learns how comfortable she is as a young boy, playing the part as a girl. She feels threatened by the idea that she will be punished for acting as she felt, and the idea that her characteristics had to fit her gender. She had to hide her identity from others, and herself at times. Trans woman who struggle with identity, and acceptance in society turn to the streets, drugs, and even suicide. Janet explains that her circumstances do not justify journey of most trans woman in their communities. Everybody's experience in their journey is different.

      Her long hair was shaved, she was forced to use the boy's changing room, and wear boy's clothes. Janet's struggle to learn her own identity was always interrupted by the stereotype of a gender's understood characteristics. I think that if we were more accepting of others beliefs and views, we would see a drastic drop in transgender women turning to the streets, drugs, and suicide. I also think that as we have the right to religious beliefs, we should have the right to the belief of who we are inside. It amazes me that these other genders arn't accepted, when even sic people share traits of the opposite sex. A father can be a stay at home dad, a woman can be the bread winner; I see a similarity in the thought of a boy becoming a woman, the idea that we are who we are inside.

   Nobody should have to hide who they are, and in the passage I chose, Janet feels a weight lifted with the realization that playing the part as a girl felt real and honest to herself. That feeling is all a person should need to fined themselves, unfortunately the stereotypes and characteristics we assign to genders, makes it difficult to be who we are. Let's be more open and understanding of other's. Nothing will stop a person from feeling the way they do; like Janet's dad, we cannot prevent or stop someone from who they are, so learn to accept it.

   

Blue Jay's Dance #4

                                   You're Still a Woman!

       You're still a woman! "You can be married to the most wonderful man on earth. You're still a woman. You can be married to the Blessed Virgin. You can be married to the Pope. You can be ass-deep in money, charged with success like a brand-new car battery. You can have fifteen-minute labors and perfect breasts and you're still a woman. Your still a woman no matter what excuse you've given men. Can't get around it. Change you hair, kill your yeast off, and shut your eyes. You're still a woman." (P.188).

       Louis Erdrich is an author of novels, poetry, and children's books. In her novel, The Blue Jay's Dance, Erdrich shared her experience with motherhood, as a woman, and as a Native American of the Ojibwa tribe. In her shared thoughts through motherhood, Erdrich mentions thoughts of suicide, and feelings of depression. I have to wonder, is she happy in her role as a woman to a child? Is she happy being a mother in her experience?

     With Louise's incite on her personal experience as a mother, I get a sense that she is unhappy with her role. I think Louise uses her writing as an escape, from her frustration, from boredom. Reading her novel, it is a point that she spends a lot of time with nature, and observing wild life. Erdrich seems to be in search of peace throughout the entire story. Just a place to clear her thoughts, to focus on something, anything, other than being the mother of the household.

      We have all wanted some kind of space away from others at some point. Our own bubble. But being a parent is a sure thing that you will always come second to yourself. There is another human being that must always come first, your child. In my experience as a mother, I have lost, and gained many things in parenting. I have had to make sacrifices, change goals, and priorities. Sometimes I have to question if my daughter's dad would be able to handle my role in the household. Taking care of our daughter, Na'Kielah, her appointments, attending school, working, cleaning the house. There are things I acknowledge in the differences of our roles, that suggest he wouldn't be able to play my part. I think Erdrich struggles with her role to some degree, as do I. I do want my privacy, my space once in awhile, from my daughter, and her constant needs. Not even the toilet, or shower provides an escape for me. I think Erdrich feels the same need for an escape.

      "The truth is, I like doing these small things, up to a point, but when the sludge of incremental necessities becomes suffocating, I rebel and let the details slide. How glad I am to know that I am not the only one. From outside, the mothers in brilliant parkas look affable and competent, but as i sit talking among them I come to know that we are all struggling, with more or less grace, to hold on to the tiger tail of children's, husband's, parents', and siblings' lives while at the same time saving a little core of self in our own, just enough to live by." (P. 161).

      The role of a mother in life can cause a woman to lose a sense of self. Children's necessities consume woman. Having to carry, give birth to, and nurse a baby is a connection between mother and child that no man can understand. Our role as a woman, and parent, can never be compared to a father and child's relationship, because we have the ability to create a life. I think Erdrich feels overwhelmed in her role as a mother, and searches for peace in her writing, nature and wild life. We don't get much information of the father's presence in the house, his duty is to work, while she maintains the house and children. I think the incite and information from The Blue Jay's Dance, gives us the understanding that a woman, and man's role in parenting is much different. "Can't get around it. Change you hair, kill your yeast off, and shut your eyes. You're still a woman." (P.188).

   

Extra Credit- Nesting

                                 Motherhood & Nesting
     
        I attended the poetry reading and exhibit Nesting, with photography by Erin LaBonte, and poems written by Emilie Lindemann. The theme of the project was motherhood, really connecting to our book, The Blue Jay's Dance. In motherhood we find many differences in gender stereotypes, when it comes to the connection between the mother and child, versus father and child, or the different roles each gender has in parenthood, separating us by sexes. We see a mother as nurturing, and a father as protective. Only women can carry and provide a life force for a child, as a man can only help contribute the necessities to create one. These are stereotypes, and roles in which genders are very easily split in two.
 
         Motherhood can be messy, it's been a concern for women who are labeled, "letting go". In letting go, women lose the urge to focus on self care, and lack the desire to keep up with fashion, and beauty. Erin writes, "smell my fresh-paint smell, my armpit odor, my cereal breath". In this poem Erin relates to all mothers who have experienced the exception that sometimes, we just simply let go of ourselves, and forget the needs of make-up, and dressing up. Changing diapers, wiping away the smell of formula regurgitated, cleaning and sanitizing, consumes women during early motherhood. This is all a part of the experience in itself, to except new duties, and a new sense of self.

        The collaboration between Erin, and Emilie really brought the project to life, as Erin's photo's connected to the poems, and vise versa. Together the two were able to capture important events in motherhood, providing an open perception to the new task as a women. Choosing between the "saddle shoe, or purple suede platform sneaker", seeing her body as a "kerchief-wearing, wide-hipped shell", are all new traits in her evolving new tasks as a mother. We see the paneling background, the plum colored lip stick, and kerchief-wearing dress in Erins pictures, really bringing out the words of Emilie's poems, connecting the two.

       It was a great experience to hear the poems read in Emilie's voice, her connection to the project brought to life. The sense of friendship between the artist, and writer were clear in Erin's announcement that they have worked together on many other projects. Enjoying the collaboration in each other's work, and how they each contributed their own profession, the two have made great progress together as an artist, and writer.

     

Brown Girl Dreaming #3

                                   Children's Literature

      In Brown Girl Dreaming, a book by Jaqueline Woodson, we learn of a young, African American girl’s experience with segregation. Do I think this subject should be ban from a school? Not at all! I agree with the idea in class today, that suggested she “soften” the content in the book. I think that proves Woodson’s reason for writing the book in poem form, with meaning behind her words, that suggests a different, deeper context is hidden. She wanted it to be a young children’s literature, and I admire that.

          
The training- “You know you have to get those trainings, she says, and out mom nods. They won’t let you at the counters without them. Have to know what to do when those people come at you.” (p.76).

   
    In this memory, we understand that there was a specific training involved in the fight to end segregation throughout the south. Woodson doesn’t involve any type of serious violence, and imagery of violence, as she could of. So I continue to believe that there is no reason to look at this literature, as unfit for young children.

      My sister and I have different dad’s, she is molto. I want to think that racism no longer exists, and no African American has experiences segregation today, unfortunately it’s not true. I Have witnessed my sisters struggle in situations where she was named, and degraded in ways I have never experienced. The misunderstanding that African Americans are any less than white Americans, is ridiculous. I simply cannot understand at all, how a person can think like that. But, I grew up never realizing the difference in color. Calling my sister’s dad, dad, I had no clue. It’s all I knew. Until my mom asked me if I wanted to see my biological father. Shocker! I was about eight when I really thought about the difference in skin color. Though nothing between any of us had ever changed with that realization. Skin color doesn’t make up who we are.

      I think Woodson’s story is good for young reader. To me, this book serves at an important truth in our history. As a white girl, or any other ethnicity, and either gender, this is a part of our past. I would never think of this information as a threat to young readers in any way. Taking this away from a child’s knowledge would be unethical to me. 

Feminist Literary Synthesis WILD

                  Feminist Literary Synthesis WILD 

When analyzing Cheryl Strayed’s book Wild, it’s very clear that she challenged both gender roles in her experience as a hiker.  Cheryl struggles with the weight of her pack, but along the way, she builds the strength to manage her necessities on her back. When the men she met on the trail were shocked at the sight of “monster”, you get an understanding of how repulsively massive it is. So many comments were made that defined her as weak, or incapable, because she is a woman.  

       

    “We were taking bets who’d arrive first. You or the boy’s back east coming up from behind you      

    “Who won?”

    “No-one”, he said and boomed with laughter. “None of us bet on you.” (p.207)

Cheryl always seems to surprise the people she meets throughout her hike, always getting the comments of how unexpected it is that she is doing this. Doing it as a woman. Doing it alone. I think that she is an inspiration to women who enjoy outdoor activities, and her stories enlighten women’s thoughts on being capable of such an adventure in the wilderness.

      

    “I was dying to meet them of course- but I wanted to meet them as the woman who’d left them in her dust instead of the woman they’d overtaken.” (P.190)

Learning she has two men following short behind her, started around the same time, and coming from the south, Cheryl automatically wants to be seen as a woman who can hold her weight. In this experience, Cheryl pushes herself to beat the boys to camp, her expectations of being perceived as strong, influenced her to pick up pace.

I think a lot of us agreed in class, that when creating the lists of men, and woman traits, we found most of the women’s associated with a degrading, and weak characteristics. I have to say, I think there should be some kind of balance in the gender traits between both sexes. I know that in my relationship, we share a mix between the two lists, and it helps to understand one another’s feelings in situations. My significant other is more “compromising”, and “verbal”, as I am more “stoic”, and “stubborn”. Together it fits like yin, and yang, two opposites, creating a whole. I think we need to be more understanding of mixed gender traits in today's society, because today, these mixed traits are become a norm. Seeing a women as bread winners, with business success, or a stay at home dad, with household chores. These are more common today, and should be more understood, because they are becoming today's norms.