Cant We Talk About Something More Pleasant? #7

                         Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?
       
       "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" This book was written by Roz Chast; a woman married to a man who writes humor, and has two kids. Roz was born and raised in Brooklyn as a single child with parents much older than usual. She left for college at sixteen becoming a successful American cartoonist for the New York Times today.

         Following a few discussions in class I have been stuck thinking about whether Roz was the victim, or that her parents, Elizabeth and George, were victims of her's. A lot of questions came up wondering why, and how Roz could leave her parents at seventy-eight years old without looking back for about eleven years. Were the parents neglected as some thought? Or was Roz neglected during her childhood and causing her later actions? Everyone in the class had different views on the family dynamic; as well we should because Roz left a lot unsaid for us to try to analyze.

       "The two of them had their own thing going, and my being there complicated it in a way that did not bring out the best of any of us. I left for college when I was 16. I think we were all relieved. I could get out of the house, and they could go back to being just the two of them." (36).

        We learn in the story that Roz felt unwanted, that maybe she was a burden to her parents and interfering with their relationship. Roz had a strange childhood from what we see in the book. She was teased for having older parents, her school lunch's had to be spent at home, the sitter's were out of hand and inappropriate, etc. At home with her parent's, Roz had a vocally aggressive, overbearing mother. On the other hand her father, George, was overwhelmed with anxiety and dependence. I cant say that any of the characteristics or past experiences that Roz shared made her the victim of bad parents. From the information and text given, I think she struggled growing up. Elizabeth gave Roz no room for opinions and views as whatever Elizabeth says, goes, and whatever Elizabeth "thinks" is right, is right. George simply agrees with Elizabeth regardless and without questioning. If this is the hardship in Roz's relationship with her parent's, I think she had it just fine growing up. We all have problems in our family relationships, and I have to say Roz did not have it all that hard.

      "Where in the five stages of death, is eating a tuna sandwich? Maybe if my mother and I had been close, I would have been thrilled to see her out of bed, chomping away. But we weren't." (176).

      Needless to say, the above words of Roz Chast are shitty. Can I say that? I don't know how else to tell you what I think. She always had both George and Elizabeth, so how could she be so heartless to be disappointed when her mother's health improves? Regardless of how close they weren't, Elizabeth and George we always a part of Roz's life. Nothing in this story suggests that Roz was abused in anyway, so how could she be so low to prefer that her mother just die already? Adding that Roz was more frustrated than understanding with George's symptom's of dementia. I'd have to say, there was a continues whining throughout the story about how she had to "deal" with her parents. I don't think Roz "neglected" her parents, but that she did show some cruel carelessness.

    In the end, I don't think neglect had anything to do with why their relationship was this way before their deaths. We see throughout the book that Roz inherits traits from both Elizabeth and George. I think that she treated her father with his shared traits, caring and overcome with anxiety. As well as for Elisabeth, she was impatient and easily frustrated. This realization makes me understand Roz and her story much more.
   
     
   
       

Persopolis #6

                                             Persepolis
 
        Persepolis, a memoir by Marjane Satrapi, is a graphic novel that tells the story of a young girl living in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. I would like to talk further about the separation between classes in Marjane's experience. This story had an amazing impact through image, and voice; I found it intriguing. Through her art, and writing, everything about this book made me want to know more.

        "I finally understood why I felt ashamed to sit in my father's Cadillac. The reason for my shame and for the revolution is the same: the difference between social classes." (P.33).

       At such a young age, the thought of social class differences should not be real. Unfortunately Marjane lived where, and when a revolution begun, a witness to a sad reality. I couldn't relate to the seriousness of her situation in Iran, but I have experiences of my own in the subject. We see other's less or more fortunate, always trying to judge them by appearance, money, and materials. It's difficult for me to understand how people can have such closed minded opinions. No matter much we want our personal belief's to be true, there will always be another way of thinking. Marjane takes on a guilt far too real for such a young girl. There will never be a day when we all agree on what's right and wrong. We will never agree on one way of living.

    "But is it her fault that she was born where she was born??? Dad, are you for or against social classes?" (P.37).

       Adding to the thought of social class separation, Marjane was confused and upset about her father ending a relationship between the maid, and neighbor. In class we discussed the question of her father being in the right or wrong?  I came to think her father made the right choice to intervene, and end the relationship between the two. With all of the trouble and violence already involved in their lives, the father prevented what could have been a large problem. Already people were being arrested, tortured, and murdered for abandoning the rules, I understand that Marjane's father wanted to keep them safe.

       We see in her story the difference in appearance between the men and woman in Iran. I find it unreal to force a belief upon others. It's not realistic to think we can control other's thoughts and opinions. Even if forced to wear the veil, there will be people who disagree with the rule. Putting fear in people to get followers is cruel, and the violence is inhuman. We struggle is all cultures, and countries to accept differences, and it makes it impossible to share peace.

    This story was very different from the others in a way that makes it less personal, and more of an awareness about the place and time for Satrapi. I have a lot of new found knowledge about Iran and the Revolution. We didn't just capture the experience and stories of a young girl, but of a country and it's people too.
     

Redefining Realness #5

                                    Redefining Realness

       I will be analyzing a memoir by Janet Mock, a transgender woman who's family and community, supported and accepted her journey to womanhood. This memoir is so informational in the medical, history, governmental laws, and current issues in the transgender community. What interests me most about her story, is the idea that there are more than two genders, and the thought of completely eliminating gender roles and stereotypes.

      "There was no doubt when I was in the moment of Keisha. She was fully me, the me I knew myself to be in those quiet instances when all I had to do was merely be me. But I was certain the falsity of Keisha, no matter how real she felt to me, would result in a whipping or something worse. The boundaries of gender, I was taught, were unmovable, like the glistening white rocks that surrounded Grandma's crawfish pond. Keisha proved, though, that self-determination-proclaiming who you were to others-wielded the power to lift those rocks toward a more honest place."

      In this class we have discussed the struggle to be accepted as a woman, but the struggle to be accepted as a person who wants to become a woman, is new to me. In the passage above Janet learns how comfortable she is as a young boy, playing the part as a girl. She feels threatened by the idea that she will be punished for acting as she felt, and the idea that her characteristics had to fit her gender. She had to hide her identity from others, and herself at times. Trans woman who struggle with identity, and acceptance in society turn to the streets, drugs, and even suicide. Janet explains that her circumstances do not justify journey of most trans woman in their communities. Everybody's experience in their journey is different.

      Her long hair was shaved, she was forced to use the boy's changing room, and wear boy's clothes. Janet's struggle to learn her own identity was always interrupted by the stereotype of a gender's understood characteristics. I think that if we were more accepting of others beliefs and views, we would see a drastic drop in transgender women turning to the streets, drugs, and suicide. I also think that as we have the right to religious beliefs, we should have the right to the belief of who we are inside. It amazes me that these other genders arn't accepted, when even sic people share traits of the opposite sex. A father can be a stay at home dad, a woman can be the bread winner; I see a similarity in the thought of a boy becoming a woman, the idea that we are who we are inside.

   Nobody should have to hide who they are, and in the passage I chose, Janet feels a weight lifted with the realization that playing the part as a girl felt real and honest to herself. That feeling is all a person should need to fined themselves, unfortunately the stereotypes and characteristics we assign to genders, makes it difficult to be who we are. Let's be more open and understanding of other's. Nothing will stop a person from feeling the way they do; like Janet's dad, we cannot prevent or stop someone from who they are, so learn to accept it.

   

Blue Jay's Dance #4

                                   You're Still a Woman!

       You're still a woman! "You can be married to the most wonderful man on earth. You're still a woman. You can be married to the Blessed Virgin. You can be married to the Pope. You can be ass-deep in money, charged with success like a brand-new car battery. You can have fifteen-minute labors and perfect breasts and you're still a woman. Your still a woman no matter what excuse you've given men. Can't get around it. Change you hair, kill your yeast off, and shut your eyes. You're still a woman." (P.188).

       Louis Erdrich is an author of novels, poetry, and children's books. In her novel, The Blue Jay's Dance, Erdrich shared her experience with motherhood, as a woman, and as a Native American of the Ojibwa tribe. In her shared thoughts through motherhood, Erdrich mentions thoughts of suicide, and feelings of depression. I have to wonder, is she happy in her role as a woman to a child? Is she happy being a mother in her experience?

     With Louise's incite on her personal experience as a mother, I get a sense that she is unhappy with her role. I think Louise uses her writing as an escape, from her frustration, from boredom. Reading her novel, it is a point that she spends a lot of time with nature, and observing wild life. Erdrich seems to be in search of peace throughout the entire story. Just a place to clear her thoughts, to focus on something, anything, other than being the mother of the household.

      We have all wanted some kind of space away from others at some point. Our own bubble. But being a parent is a sure thing that you will always come second to yourself. There is another human being that must always come first, your child. In my experience as a mother, I have lost, and gained many things in parenting. I have had to make sacrifices, change goals, and priorities. Sometimes I have to question if my daughter's dad would be able to handle my role in the household. Taking care of our daughter, Na'Kielah, her appointments, attending school, working, cleaning the house. There are things I acknowledge in the differences of our roles, that suggest he wouldn't be able to play my part. I think Erdrich struggles with her role to some degree, as do I. I do want my privacy, my space once in awhile, from my daughter, and her constant needs. Not even the toilet, or shower provides an escape for me. I think Erdrich feels the same need for an escape.

      "The truth is, I like doing these small things, up to a point, but when the sludge of incremental necessities becomes suffocating, I rebel and let the details slide. How glad I am to know that I am not the only one. From outside, the mothers in brilliant parkas look affable and competent, but as i sit talking among them I come to know that we are all struggling, with more or less grace, to hold on to the tiger tail of children's, husband's, parents', and siblings' lives while at the same time saving a little core of self in our own, just enough to live by." (P. 161).

      The role of a mother in life can cause a woman to lose a sense of self. Children's necessities consume woman. Having to carry, give birth to, and nurse a baby is a connection between mother and child that no man can understand. Our role as a woman, and parent, can never be compared to a father and child's relationship, because we have the ability to create a life. I think Erdrich feels overwhelmed in her role as a mother, and searches for peace in her writing, nature and wild life. We don't get much information of the father's presence in the house, his duty is to work, while she maintains the house and children. I think the incite and information from The Blue Jay's Dance, gives us the understanding that a woman, and man's role in parenting is much different. "Can't get around it. Change you hair, kill your yeast off, and shut your eyes. You're still a woman." (P.188).

   

Extra Credit- Nesting

                                 Motherhood & Nesting
     
        I attended the poetry reading and exhibit Nesting, with photography by Erin LaBonte, and poems written by Emilie Lindemann. The theme of the project was motherhood, really connecting to our book, The Blue Jay's Dance. In motherhood we find many differences in gender stereotypes, when it comes to the connection between the mother and child, versus father and child, or the different roles each gender has in parenthood, separating us by sexes. We see a mother as nurturing, and a father as protective. Only women can carry and provide a life force for a child, as a man can only help contribute the necessities to create one. These are stereotypes, and roles in which genders are very easily split in two.
 
         Motherhood can be messy, it's been a concern for women who are labeled, "letting go". In letting go, women lose the urge to focus on self care, and lack the desire to keep up with fashion, and beauty. Erin writes, "smell my fresh-paint smell, my armpit odor, my cereal breath". In this poem Erin relates to all mothers who have experienced the exception that sometimes, we just simply let go of ourselves, and forget the needs of make-up, and dressing up. Changing diapers, wiping away the smell of formula regurgitated, cleaning and sanitizing, consumes women during early motherhood. This is all a part of the experience in itself, to except new duties, and a new sense of self.

        The collaboration between Erin, and Emilie really brought the project to life, as Erin's photo's connected to the poems, and vise versa. Together the two were able to capture important events in motherhood, providing an open perception to the new task as a women. Choosing between the "saddle shoe, or purple suede platform sneaker", seeing her body as a "kerchief-wearing, wide-hipped shell", are all new traits in her evolving new tasks as a mother. We see the paneling background, the plum colored lip stick, and kerchief-wearing dress in Erins pictures, really bringing out the words of Emilie's poems, connecting the two.

       It was a great experience to hear the poems read in Emilie's voice, her connection to the project brought to life. The sense of friendship between the artist, and writer were clear in Erin's announcement that they have worked together on many other projects. Enjoying the collaboration in each other's work, and how they each contributed their own profession, the two have made great progress together as an artist, and writer.

     

Brown Girl Dreaming #3

                                   Children's Literature

      In Brown Girl Dreaming, a book by Jaqueline Woodson, we learn of a young, African American girl’s experience with segregation. Do I think this subject should be ban from a school? Not at all! I agree with the idea in class today, that suggested she “soften” the content in the book. I think that proves Woodson’s reason for writing the book in poem form, with meaning behind her words, that suggests a different, deeper context is hidden. She wanted it to be a young children’s literature, and I admire that.

          
The training- “You know you have to get those trainings, she says, and out mom nods. They won’t let you at the counters without them. Have to know what to do when those people come at you.” (p.76).

   
    In this memory, we understand that there was a specific training involved in the fight to end segregation throughout the south. Woodson doesn’t involve any type of serious violence, and imagery of violence, as she could of. So I continue to believe that there is no reason to look at this literature, as unfit for young children.

      My sister and I have different dad’s, she is molto. I want to think that racism no longer exists, and no African American has experiences segregation today, unfortunately it’s not true. I Have witnessed my sisters struggle in situations where she was named, and degraded in ways I have never experienced. The misunderstanding that African Americans are any less than white Americans, is ridiculous. I simply cannot understand at all, how a person can think like that. But, I grew up never realizing the difference in color. Calling my sister’s dad, dad, I had no clue. It’s all I knew. Until my mom asked me if I wanted to see my biological father. Shocker! I was about eight when I really thought about the difference in skin color. Though nothing between any of us had ever changed with that realization. Skin color doesn’t make up who we are.

      I think Woodson’s story is good for young reader. To me, this book serves at an important truth in our history. As a white girl, or any other ethnicity, and either gender, this is a part of our past. I would never think of this information as a threat to young readers in any way. Taking this away from a child’s knowledge would be unethical to me. 

Feminist Literary Synthesis WILD

                  Feminist Literary Synthesis WILD 

When analyzing Cheryl Strayed’s book Wild, it’s very clear that she challenged both gender roles in her experience as a hiker.  Cheryl struggles with the weight of her pack, but along the way, she builds the strength to manage her necessities on her back. When the men she met on the trail were shocked at the sight of “monster”, you get an understanding of how repulsively massive it is. So many comments were made that defined her as weak, or incapable, because she is a woman.  

       

    “We were taking bets who’d arrive first. You or the boy’s back east coming up from behind you      

    “Who won?”

    “No-one”, he said and boomed with laughter. “None of us bet on you.” (p.207)

Cheryl always seems to surprise the people she meets throughout her hike, always getting the comments of how unexpected it is that she is doing this. Doing it as a woman. Doing it alone. I think that she is an inspiration to women who enjoy outdoor activities, and her stories enlighten women’s thoughts on being capable of such an adventure in the wilderness.

      

    “I was dying to meet them of course- but I wanted to meet them as the woman who’d left them in her dust instead of the woman they’d overtaken.” (P.190)

Learning she has two men following short behind her, started around the same time, and coming from the south, Cheryl automatically wants to be seen as a woman who can hold her weight. In this experience, Cheryl pushes herself to beat the boys to camp, her expectations of being perceived as strong, influenced her to pick up pace.

I think a lot of us agreed in class, that when creating the lists of men, and woman traits, we found most of the women’s associated with a degrading, and weak characteristics. I have to say, I think there should be some kind of balance in the gender traits between both sexes. I know that in my relationship, we share a mix between the two lists, and it helps to understand one another’s feelings in situations. My significant other is more “compromising”, and “verbal”, as I am more “stoic”, and “stubborn”. Together it fits like yin, and yang, two opposites, creating a whole. I think we need to be more understanding of mixed gender traits in today's society, because today, these mixed traits are become a norm. Seeing a women as bread winners, with business success, or a stay at home dad, with household chores. These are more common today, and should be more understood, because they are becoming today's norms. 

Textual Background WILD

                                     Textual Background WILD

            “Alone wasn’t a room anymore, but the whole wide world.” (P.236)

I have to say, Cheryl’s experience in wilderness, and on the hike, was therapeutic in a way. I personally find that being with nature, helps me to find a sense of serenity. With serenity, the feeling of relaxed calmness comes over me, and I am content with the world. I thought it was interesting that in Cheryl’s writing, she recalled memories, flashbacks, of the things she needed most to reflect on, in order to move forward. I think we can all relate to the significance of needing to recollect, and reflect on instances in our lives.

I found that there are nature based therapy’s. It’s an interesting way to find therapy, and I find any kind of natural way to deal with stress and struggles, to be the best option. In nature based therapy I found animal assisted therapy, nature meditation, and physical exercise in a natural environment. I think the environment around you has a huge effect on your performance. Breathing fresh air outside, and smelling accustomed scents can be soothing. The scenery in a natural environment can be comforting, and influential in the nature experience. Clearing your mind, and finding a sense of self outdoors can be inspiring in a way that you experience epiphanies.

         

 “But hiking the PCT was hard in a different way. In a way that made the other hardest things, the tiniest bit less hard.” (P.191)

           

  “Many health care researchers and practitioners say that ecotherapy (also known as green therapy, nature therapy, and earth-centered therapy) -- a term coined by pastoral counselor Howard Clinebell in his 1996 book of the same name -- can have regenerative powers, improving mood and easing anxiety, stress, and depression.” (www.webmd.com).

Cheryl experiences pain, exhaustion, and deprivation. With all those thoughts and feelings at the time, Cheryl didn’t have any easy phase of reflecting, but she does. The time she screamed for her mother in the woods, was an emotional barrier, that she finally released in a way. I think this is a great way to deal with personal struggles, and defiantly something I would do myself.


 http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/nature-therapy-ecotherapy?page=1

Author's Information WILD

                                 Author's Information WILD

          Cheryl was born in Strangler Pennsylvania September 17^th, 1968. Later moving to McGregor Minnesota, Cheryl attended McGregor High School, where she was a sports cheerleader, and earned the votes to be homecoming queen. First attending the University of St. Thomas, Cheryl later transferred to the University of Minnesota, where she earned her bachelor degree in English. 1991 is the year she lost her significantly close mother. Struggling to cope with her loss, Cheryl turned to sex and heroin, masking the feelings of grief and denial. Committing adultery, and lacking the emotional commitment, she finalized her divorce in 1995, changing her last name to Strayed. Soon after the divorce, at twenty-six years old, Cheryl started her 1,100-mile hike on the Pacific Crest Trail. Hiking the PCT, she traveled alone three months, from the Mojave Desert, through California, and Oregon, to Washington. successfully finishing the PCT hike, Cheryl stayed to live in Portland, Oregon. In Portland, 1999, she remarried filmmaker Brian Lindstrom. With her husband she had two children, one of which acted as a young Cheryl in the movie Wild. 2006 Cheryl published her first book, Torch. Following her novel, she wrote short stories. “Munro County,” earned her the Pushcart Prize in 2010. Others appeared in such publications as The Best American Essays, The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post Magazine and Salon. In 2012, Strayed’s book Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail was published. The book hit No. 1 on The New York Times Bestseller List, and became Oprah Winfrey’s first pick for her re-imagined book club.” (www.biography.com).

             Learning the reality of the authors life, really makes the story so much more personal. Like you know the women behind the mask. The women who’d experienced the visuals you had in your head when reading. The connection between you and the book, becomes the connection between you, and the person who experienced it. That person is out there, and those situations can be life lessons, a sense of hope, or whatever the case may be. These stories are relatable, therefore, so much more personal. 



http://www.biography.com/people/cheryl-strayed

Reader Response WILD

                               Reader Response WILD

        In the reader’s responses on Goodreads, I found so much negative feedback on the thoughts of Cheryl Strayed’s, Wild. I think Cheryl’s lack of preparedness, along with self-destructive life choices, makes for a bad reputation. The way Cheryl reflects her past in writing, can give the audience a lack of empathy, assuming Strayed is looking for pity.

Such as, Nikiverse stating, “Wahhh, I did heroin and cheated on my husband and my life's a mess. Wahhh I'm too tired to even masturbate. Wah! I slept without protection and got an abortion! I lost my toenailz. I have godzilla skin on my hips because my backpack weighs so much!”

         I disagree with those thoughts on Strayed’s story. When I read the book, I felt a connection with a woman struggling from loss, suffering grief, and attempting a sense of self-fulfillment. I think those are attributes to a story of physical and psychological self-care, like Megan C. Brown suggested in her thoughts of a new sub-genre, “self-help”. These specific features in Strayed’s book, gave me a different understanding of independence, and self-reliance. The metaphors and lessons give me a different perspective on such a diverse way to cope, and grow as a woman, with struggles that so many others can relate to. 

Critical Commentary WILD

                                     Critical Commentary WILD

      Megan C. Brown suggests from a New York times article, the thought of a new, “sub-genre”, a self-help memoir. Brown writes, “These memoirs have much to say, to be sure, about physical and psychological self-care, but they also teach readers about the biopolitically linked matters of normative productivity, efficiency, and the management of relationships, particularly as these function within the context of US neoliberalism.” (360)

               

    “The memoir encourages readers to look within and find a way to be productive rather than self-destructive…” (366). I find comfort in this kind of reading, a way to cope, and to deal with similar struggles I’ve encountered. I have a dysfunctional family, I have seen firsthand friends and family struggling with drug abuse, as well as experiencing loss. With all these examples, I can relate to some of Cheryl’s experiences, and reading someone else’s perspective gives me exactly the kind of self-help Brown refers to.

              

     Page 259, Cheryl says she is like a guy sexually. DETACHED. Cheryl admits to her therapist a personal, and emotional secret. This is a time in Cheryl’s book, where she reevaluates her circumstances in comparing herself to a man, sexually. In this part of Cheryl's life, she is searching for a kind of self-fulfillment, an understanding of the way certain circumstances impacted her life. Cheryl sees the resemblance in her gender with the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with shared gender traits between sexes, and I think Cheryl sees that when she accomplishes the 1,100 mile walk on the Pacific Crest Trail. We should be able to poses the traits of each gender without it being degrading. A woman with a lot of sexual partners is perceived as promiscuous, and has a problem, but a man, well, that’s just normal.

      

       Brown mentions the book Go Ask Alice, my all-time, go-to book as a young teen. I have looked to this particular book for some kind of security, because being able to relate, gives me a sense of liberation. Learning that you are not the only one, that there is a way to get through circumstances you thought would be the end of you, provides a feeling of freedom, of self-awareness, and acceptance. In the thought of a new sub-genre, I agree that it would benefit readers looking for a specific story, for some kind of “self-help”. From familiarity, I have read these types of books, looking for that exact self-actualization in my own life experiences. 

Wild #2

                                        Equality

When Cheryl lost her mother to cancer, she struggled to accept the truth. Cheryl went to men for comfort, walking herself into a divorce, she experimented with heroin, and took a leap deciding to walk the PCT. On a roller-coaster ride, Cheryl was looking for ways to avoid the truth; her mother, the rock that held their family together, was gone. With each of Cheryl's parents, she learned equality, and power as a woman. Recollecting memories with her parents on her journey through the PCT, Cheryl finds ways they have influenced her, building her character on the hike, and a sense of who she is, and what she wants for herself as a woman.

                 "I never got to be in the driver's seat of my own life," She'd wept to me once, in the days after she learned she was going to die. "I always did what someone else wanted me to do. I've always been someone's daughter or mother or wife. I’ve never just been me."(P.538) 

Cheryl stated these words because they stuck to her like glue. The words her mother speaks here are significant in understanding that no matter what is thrown at you, take the driver's seat in your life. Don't let someone have complete control over you, without considering what is best for yourself. This gives Cheryl a kind of power as a woman, an inspiration to follow her dreams, never letting anything stop her from what she wants. This information is important for people who go every day, pretending to be someone, for someone else. Know who you are, and fight for your most desired wishes in life. Never give that up, because in the end, you may look back and wonder what you did for yourself.

“As I stared at the flames, I thought about Eddie, the same as I did just about every time I sat by a fire. It had been he who’d taught me how to build one. Eddie was the one who’d taken me camping the first time. He’d shown me how to pitch a tent and tie a knot in a rope. From him, I’d learned how to open a can with a jackknife and paddle a canoe and skip a rock on the surface of the lake.” (P.598)

Cheryl admits that if it weren’t for Eddie she wouldn’t have found herself on the PCT. With all the background knowledge she learned from her stepdad, Cheryl had some experience in the wilderness. The familiarity she had with the outdoors was a benefit to her hiking the trail. As a young girl, Cheryl was taught to follow some masculine traits. To be familiar with the environment outside, learning some survival skills like starting a fire, and tying knots in rope, all traits of masculinity. From Eddie too, Cheryl learns power as a woman. She grows up with characteristics that are typical with a man’s traits. Here is equality between sexes. Cheryl didn’t just wear pink, and play with Barbie dolls, she camped out, and learned to use a jackknife.

I think that in Cheryl's experiences with her parents, she learned gender equality. Cheryl was not raised to be emotional, material, and weak. She was taught young, to be strong, dominant, and independent. Someone said in class, that the list of a woman's gender norms we created, seemed to be made up of mostly negative traits. I can see that. I think it is important for each gender to share all of those traits, causing a kind of yin to the yang effect, evening out those traits, and loosing those expectations of how a man or woman is supposed to be. 

Stealing Buddha's Dinner #1

                                        Americanization

      I really enjoyed this book, Ive got a better understanding of life as a refuge, and some knew knowledge on the history and culture of the Vietnamese. Reading the story of Bich brings to the surface a refuge's struggle coming to America. It amazed me that with such a war, people left behind their identity in their pursuit to American freedom, safety. With that came the opportunity to change names. When this subject was brought up as Rosa had stepped in, I immediately thought of her chance at a better connection to the American life, seeming more American with a new name. After going back on that thought, I realize that Bich was to young to make a decision like that. She might have felt that it would give her a stronger identity as an American, but changing her name will not keep her from being and outcast, to her classmates and friends. Bich will always look different, and follow a different lifestyle from her peers. With three different cultures and languages in one home, I couldn't imagine the confusion as a young child; the difficulty to cope with self identity. 

"Anh and I divided out time among toys, television, and our uncles' songs. We learned English this way, matching sound with word with meaning." P.22

       I am amazed at this way of learning a new language. How difficult to use your visuals, in order to match meaning to words. Singing along with songs in order to practice their speech, is so difficult for me to fathom. I admire the persistence and patience it had to take for them to learn English. When coming to America as a foreigner, with very little, to no way of communicating, everyday tasks would be frustrating. Life in a world where you struggle to communicate would be scary, intimidating. It's interesting to know that Bich had a difficult time speaking Vietnamese after so long, how English became her first and only really spoken language. 

"In the pursuit of gold stars I became an insufferably good student, with perfect Palmer cursive and one hundred percents in every subject. I had something to prove- to myself, to Mrs. Anderson, to everyone in class." P.73

"Can you believe it?" she was saying. "A foreigner winner our spelling bee!" P.82

      Even with 100% in her class subjects, and a spelling bee award, she did not receive the stuffed lion she hoped for. Although Bich was influenced to excel in school, she was still referred to the "foreigner winning the spelling bee. How sad. Was there something holding the teacher back from giving Bich the praised lion? I thought she deserved the stuffed animal, and had to question if Bich's differences kept Mrs. Anderson from presenting the prize to her instead. 

        This book brought to light the concept of Americanization. What does it meant to be Americanized?Bich's story about self identity helped me to consider the impact our American culture has on people around the world. Promising freedom, a new life. What are we doing to help foreigners into this new life? Procedures may be different nowadays, but the struggle to be accepted into society as a foreigner for Bich and her family was scary. What did the mentors do to help these families? I would think it would be the mentors who would help teach our costumes, our language. I have learned from Bich's experience that being Americanized is a difficult process, effecting foreigners mentally, spiritually. Bich felt she had to keep her lives separate. Between Vietnamese, Mexican American, and American culture, it is only understandable that Bich was confused with these mixed lifestyles. I wish it was easier for communities and individuals to be accepting of other cultures and costumes; it could make for a more peaceful world.