Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?
"Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" This book was written by Roz Chast; a woman married to a man who writes humor, and has two kids. Roz was born and raised in Brooklyn as a single child with parents much older than usual. She left for college at sixteen becoming a successful American cartoonist for the New York Times today.
Following a few discussions in class I have been stuck thinking about whether Roz was the victim, or that her parents, Elizabeth and George, were victims of her's. A lot of questions came up wondering why, and how Roz could leave her parents at seventy-eight years old without looking back for about eleven years. Were the parents neglected as some thought? Or was Roz neglected during her childhood and causing her later actions? Everyone in the class had different views on the family dynamic; as well we should because Roz left a lot unsaid for us to try to analyze.
"The two of them had their own thing going, and my being there complicated it in a way that did not bring out the best of any of us. I left for college when I was 16. I think we were all relieved. I could get out of the house, and they could go back to being just the two of them." (36).
We learn in the story that Roz felt unwanted, that maybe she was a burden to her parents and interfering with their relationship. Roz had a strange childhood from what we see in the book. She was teased for having older parents, her school lunch's had to be spent at home, the sitter's were out of hand and inappropriate, etc. At home with her parent's, Roz had a vocally aggressive, overbearing mother. On the other hand her father, George, was overwhelmed with anxiety and dependence. I cant say that any of the characteristics or past experiences that Roz shared made her the victim of bad parents. From the information and text given, I think she struggled growing up. Elizabeth gave Roz no room for opinions and views as whatever Elizabeth says, goes, and whatever Elizabeth "thinks" is right, is right. George simply agrees with Elizabeth regardless and without questioning. If this is the hardship in Roz's relationship with her parent's, I think she had it just fine growing up. We all have problems in our family relationships, and I have to say Roz did not have it all that hard.
"Where in the five stages of death, is eating a tuna sandwich? Maybe if my mother and I had been close, I would have been thrilled to see her out of bed, chomping away. But we weren't." (176).
Needless to say, the above words of Roz Chast are shitty. Can I say that? I don't know how else to tell you what I think. She always had both George and Elizabeth, so how could she be so heartless to be disappointed when her mother's health improves? Regardless of how close they weren't, Elizabeth and George we always a part of Roz's life. Nothing in this story suggests that Roz was abused in anyway, so how could she be so low to prefer that her mother just die already? Adding that Roz was more frustrated than understanding with George's symptom's of dementia. I'd have to say, there was a continues whining throughout the story about how she had to "deal" with her parents. I don't think Roz "neglected" her parents, but that she did show some cruel carelessness.
In the end, I don't think neglect had anything to do with why their relationship was this way before their deaths. We see throughout the book that Roz inherits traits from both Elizabeth and George. I think that she treated her father with his shared traits, caring and overcome with anxiety. As well as for Elisabeth, she was impatient and easily frustrated. This realization makes me understand Roz and her story much more.
